Scorched earth

thomasthecat21

Scorched earth

There’s a reason why Peter Jackson chose New Zealand as his filming location for the fictional world of Middle Earth. Before his films breathed a sense of visuality into Tolkien’s original books, the only way to visit Middle Earth was through your own imagination. But the reality is that New Zealand really IS Middle Earth. The lush, rolling green hillsides, the steaming volcanic craters and bubbling mudpools, the snow capped ash peaks and thundering, foamy rivers – this country’s incredibly diverse natural landscapes provided every backdrop Jackson could ever need, without having to create them artificially using CGI.

As we drove south towards our next stop of Rotorua, it was almost like driving through Frodo’s fictitious home of The Shire, as the rolling green hills and lush green valleys of the Bay of Plenty reached into the distance all around us. The town of Rotorua itself is a volcanic wonderland, with steaming vents appearing on every hillside and the unmistakable stench of Sulphur hanging thick in the air. This town sits on the shores of Lake Rotorua, which is actually the caldera of a huge, ancient volcano which erupted around a quarter of a million years ago. We are right on the pacific ring of fire here, and this area is actually one of the most geothermally active places on the planet. People flock here from all over the world to soak in the warm waters, blissfully ignorant of the fact that they are essentially standing on top of a huge, active volcanic zone. It sounds dramatic, but it really does happen. Only back in 2019 a group of tourists were stood on White Island in the Bay of Plenty when it unexpectedly erupted. 47 people were on that island. 25 survived. And those that lived to tell the tale had survived life altering injuries. Essentially this sort of primeval geological power can never be underestimated, no matter how pretty it is on the surface. I’m sure we’ll be fine though Mum, if you’re reading this!

First stop in Rotorua has nothing to do with the stunning topography, it’s purely fun based. Well, actually, that’s not strictly true. Skyline Rotorua is a thrill seeking destination based high on the slopes of Mount Ngongotaha, with far reaching views over Rotorua. The view is amazing for sure, but we’re actually not here for the views, we’re here to ride the luge! 

Before you can get stuck in, you’ve gotta get from the car park to the top of the mountain, and the way you do that is via the Gondola (cable car). This is a bit of fun in itself, and you get a great view of the mountain bike tracks below you on the way up.

What is a luge I hear you ask – well, it’s kind of like a toboggan go-kart sorta thing, which you drive down steep mountain side race tracks. They are completely gravity driven and you are 100% in control of the steering and the speed. You can take slower, more scenic tracks, or you can take the white knuckle route and perfect your corner-lean skids while desperately trying not to career off the side and down the muddy slopes! It’s a proper hoot, and suitable for anyone over 110cm tall, so even Bam could drive one on her own. We did wonder if that was the smartest idea mind you, considering Bam’s tendency to crash into things while simply walking, let alone heading down a race track at 30mph. But she was absolutely fine. We tried one test run where we all attempted to stay together, but this was fairly disastrous to be honest – it’s not a great idea to stop and wait for people when there are hundreds of kids, hopped up to the eyeballs on energy drinks and sweets, hurtling down the track behind you. After that we thought it best to just crack on and get down at whatever speed suited. Which gave me and Hunter a chance to channel our inner Lewis Hamilton, while the girls took a more gentle route! The only way to get from the bottom of the luge track back to the top is by riding the ski-lift. It’s one of those really old school ones which scoops you up in what is essentially a glorified garden bench and instantly whisks you 30 feet off the ground with nothing holding you in place. God help you if you’ve got a really wriggly kid, or if you suddenly suffer a violent sneezing fit! Just hang on tight, and enjoy the view of the town as the zipliners whip past.

There are loads of other things to do here, like the giant swing, ziplining or extreme mountain biking, and there’s even some pretty good grub on offer before you take your gondola back down to the car park.

The following day we were going to follow our noses to one of the sources of the heady stench of sulphur hanging in the air. 15 minutes outside of Rotorua lies the incredible Waimangu Volcanic Valley. This area was once rolling green scrubland with no visible hydrothermal activity on the surface. But on one fateful night in June 1886, there was a cataclysmic eruption from the nearby Mount Tarawera destroying all life within a 6km radius and creating a brand new charred and fractured landscape. The result of this event was the newest geothermal area on the planet, and the only one that can actually be pinned down to one specific day, because it’s creation was witnessed and documented by mankind. The valley floor was then slowly repopulated with hardy ferns and heat loving mosses, and the new plant life brought with it new populations of bird and insect life. What resulted was a lush and verdant valley unlike any other I have ever witnessed. Along the perfectly maintained 4 kilometres of gravel walkways (mainly downhill to the delight of my wife), you will see the most incredible and striking geothermal features including steaming fumaroles in the hillsides, boiling acidic lakes and magnificent mineral terraces and stalactites. These features are all caused by a huge magma chamber lying just 2 kilometres under your feet, superheating the aquifer and forcing it upwards through fissures in the rocks under enormous pressure. It’s a really humbling experience knowing that there’s this ancient energy source just beneath the ground. It really affirms just how small and insignificant we are in the great geological timeline of the planet.

Highlights here include the sizzling and deadly waters of Frying Pan Lake. At 38,000 square metres, this is the largest hot spring in the world. It’s not actually boiling despite the name, it’s average temperature is around 55 degrees, but the constantly steaming water coupled with the carbon dioxide bubbling to the surface makes it seem like it is. 

Another “world’s largest” is the other-worldly Inferno Crater Lake. The intensely beautiful sky-blue waters are actually extremely acidic, and are formed by the world’s largest geyser at the bottom of the lake. I know what you’re thinking – normally we think of a geyser as bursting into the air from the ground, but when a geyser cannot project it’s column of water above a static water level (like a geyser on a lake bed) it is actually referred to as a Crypto-geyser. So even though it’s not a geyser in the traditional sense of the word, technically it qualifies!

As if we hadn’t experienced enough close-up geothermal activity in Waimangu Valley, the following day we checked out the Te Puia experience in the Te Whakarewarewa valley. This site is right on the edge of Rotorua itself, and consequently gets much busier than Waimangu. It’s more than just a geothermal park though, it’s also a real insight into traditional Māori culture being the home to the New Zealand Māori Arts and Crafts Institute. A guided tour here sees you visit a mock-up of a Māori village before European colonisation, as well as the inner workings of the NZMACI to see how the ancient arts of carving and weaving are being handed down from generation to generation in the modern world.

You also get to see their Kiwi breeding program, and we were finally able to grab our first glimpse of one of these elusive birds hidden in the gloom of their nocturnal shelters. Photos weren’t permitted in the nocturnal viewing areas for obvious reasons. Apparently someone let a flash off taking a sneaky picture one day, and nobody saw the kiwis for a week!

The real showstopper here is the mighty Pohutu Geyser, the largest geyser in the southern hemisphere – and a real life, above water one this time, not one of those sneaky crypto geezers! This bad boy erupts twenty times every day, shooting steam and water nearly 100 feet into the air from it’s elevated silica terrace, wowing the waiting crowds. There are also bubbling mud pools next to it, just to really complete the full geothermal vista.

Once we had witnessed Pohutu do it’s thing from the natural underfloor heated steps of the viewing gallery, we made our way back to the Māori village for the cultural experience in the meeting house. Much like the experience we attended in Waitangi a few weeks back, we were treated to an authentic display of music, weaponry and martial arts, before culminating in an impressively terrifying Haka war dance. I know we’ve seen one before, but it’s an impressive display and never really gets old.

The gift shop here incorporates your standard museum gift shop fare as well as some more impressive stuff. Because it’s linked to the on-site NZMACI, there is a gallery here full of authentic hand produced pieces by the current and former students, just in case you’re looking for something special to take home.

After a quick lunch, we headed off to our final geothermal experience in Rotorua, Kerosene Creek. Imagine a perfect babbling creek, hidden deep within a dense tropical forest, featuring peaceful cascades and a beautiful waterfall tumbling into a secluded swimming hole. Sounds pretty good right! Now, imagine that this perfect place was fed by a thermal spring, resulting in the water being heated to a blissful, bath-like temperature. Now we’re talking! And that, folks, is Kerosene Creek. It’s all completely free, and it’s only a short walk along the river bank from the carpark. Although, you apparently have to be pretty careful not to leave anything of value in the car as it’s a target for thieves – not that we noticed anything untoward. In fact, the only slightly dodgy thing we noticed was the two French instaholics monopolising the best spot in the river in the eternal search for the perfect selfie. I hesitate to use the work “influencer”, as there’s no way on God’s green earth that either of these two would influence me to buy anything (although I’m pretty sure I’m not their target audience!), but I’m guessing that’s what they thought they were. After watching them take turns replicating the same pose over and over again for well over an hour (you know the one – chin forward, butt out, staring listlessly into the distance with an air of poetic whimsy), they finally gave up and had a soak instead. Thank god for that, I mean it ain’t gonna get any better than that love!

That was it for Rotorua, next stop for is was only an hour away in the nearby town of Taupo for a bit more thermal action…